The love I want..

The love I want will send me good morning and good night texts because I love them. 

The love I want checks on how I am doing at some point in the day. 

The love I want plans dates for us. Whether we stay in or go out. 

The love I want doesn’t expect more than they are willing to give. 

The love I want gives me hugs and kisses just because. 

The love I want makes me feel comfortable and safe. 

The love I want makes me feel beautiful, and makes sure I never forget it. 

The love I want pushes me to be the best I can be, without making me feel like I’m not enough. 

The love I want is adventurous and playful. 

The love I want is respectful. 

The love I want makes time for me. 

The love I want feels proud that I am by their side. 

The love I want makes me feel special everyday, not jut a special occasions. 

The love I want isn’t looking for love anywhere else. 

The love I want won’t let me go to bed upset or sad. 

The love I want won’t give up on me when I have a bad day. 

The love I want wants to hear about my day, and doesn’t think my stories are stupid. 

The love I want listens as much as he talks. 

The love I want will never make me wonder where I stand in their life. 

The love I want will feel like home. 

We talked. 

We talked. We talked for an hour a day. 

We talked about music, life, work; I forgot how good it felt to just talk. 

He talked most, and I listened. I listened to every word. I remember every word. 

The daytime talks are good, but the 1am talks are the best. He talks about his goals and ambitions; about making it big one day and taking care of everyone in his circle. I like listening to his dreams. 

His mind is magic. He sees life different. He sees through all the bullshit. His perspective makes you second guess everything you’ve ever known. He makes me want to think bigger, be more open minded. He feels everything so deeply, but you you would never know until you’ve heard him talk. 

Talk about his purpose. Talk about why he believes he is in certain believes lives. Why he does the work he does. Why he feels the way he feels. Why he can’t love or be loved..

I fell for his words. He knew just what to say. I fell for his laugh, because it fills an entire room. I fell for his voice, because when he sings the world stops for a second. I fell for the soft spot he has for kids, because I know he’s gonna be an amazing dad one day. 

But I love him for his mind. I love him for our conversations. I love him most when we just talk. 

That 2017 type love. 


You want my time, my attention, my energy. You want the “boyfriend benefits”, the consistency, the routine; but you don’t want me.. 

Unfortunately that is dating and love in 2017. Everyone has been hurt at some point, that is inevitable. But it seems like we are just walking around in little pieces trying to find anyone to put us back together. We think that if we don’t have titles, and we don’t have the commitment, that we aren’t gonna get hurt. Wrong. You don’t put energy and effort into things you don’t care about. You don’t spend time with people you don’t enjoy being around. You don’t have expectations from people you don’t have feelings for..period. 

We want to have all the friendship benefits, plus, more than likely, some kind of sexual benefits…. without catching some kind of feelings? We want to build a best friend, inject our wants and needs into them, and throw away the parts we don’t like. I get it, being hurt sucks. But trying to maintain and “situationship” sucks even more. Love isn’t picking and choosing things we like from different people trying to make our perfect person. Love is finding one person, and loving them, flaws and all. 

See, he wants the “fun friend moments”, he wants the lunch and dinner “dates”, he wants all my time, and all my energy. He wants me to wait at home all day in case he feels like spending time with me. He wants me to stay up past my bedtime in case he’s “in the mood” and wants to come over. He wants me to have my phone on me 24/7 in case he needs me, he wants to be able to walk in and out of my life as he pleases, he wants the routine.

He doesn’t want my feelings. He doesn’t want my hugs. He doesn’t want me asking where is he, or what he’s up to. He doesn’t want me to be “feely”, or ask too many questions. He doesn’t want to text me first, he doesn’t want to spend the night. He doesn’t want all the “love shit” that comes along with me, and he doesn’t want my hopes of us being together. But at the end of the day , he doesn’t want me to have those things with anyone else…

It’s my fault though. I caught feelings. That was my mistake. I guess I misunderstood all the time and energy we spend on each other for something real? That undeniable connection that keeps bringing us back together no matter how many times we fight, or the way we can be 100% ourselves when we are together because we are that comfortable with each other. My bad. I guess you have that with a lot of people? 

I guess this “2017 type love” isn’t for me. My time and energy isn’t given out for free. The people in my life have been chosen wisely and with caution. I don’t spend my time with just anyone, just for the sake of saying I have plans. When I tell you I love you, I mean it from the depths of my core. You see, I’m broken like the rest of you, but I’m not scared of love. And I sure as hell wasnt afraid of loving him. 

February makeup favs.

I can’t believe February is almost over… where does the time go? It has been such a random month filled with many snow days, a teacher strike, and stat holidays. I have literally only worked 4 days in the last 2 weeks.

That being said, I have had a lot of time to play around with my makeup and organise all my things. I have come across some old favs and new favs, and I wanted to share them with you.

  • Foundation: Revlon Colorstay- this is a super full coverage foundation and gives me a flawless finish! (I use the shade 200 Nude)
  • Concealer: Collection Lasting Perfection Ultimate Wear Concealer- so good! (I use the shade Fair)
  • Blush: Nars “Goulue”- this shade is so gorgeous! It’s the perfect shimmery pink.
  • Eyebrow Pencil: Annabelle Brow Liner- (I use the shade Universal Ebony)
  • Eyebrow Mascara: Essence Me Brow ( I think it’s the medium brown shade)
  • Lip Pencil: MAC Lip Pencil (The shade I am currently loving is Whirl)
  • Lipstick: Maybelline Colorsensational – Such a GORGEOUS nude! (My favourite shade is Blushing Beige)

Everything else I have been using is the same as usual. On a daily basis I don’t really leave my comfort zone. I wear pretty basic makeup to work, except for my false lashes, but shit, I can’t even help myself.

I would love to hear what your current makeup favorites are (even if you aren’t a big makeup wearer, what are your favs?!). Let me know in the comments!

xo

 

fun facts.

I am not sure how you guys feel about “about me” type posts, but I thought I would do a post about some facts you might not know about me. I probably won’t do another one of these types of posts, so I will just get it all out here and now. Also, I am not very exciting, soooo, now that I have hyped myself up, legggooo.

  1. Born and raised in Winnipeg (that’s in Canada, in case you didn’t know)
  2. I have 1 sister (from my mom and dad), and 2 sisters and a brother (from my dad and his wife).
  3. I came from humble beginnings, but I never did without. I have the greatest family EVER.
  4. I went to a private Christian school from K-12.
  5. My very first job was at Tim Hortons.
  6. From there I did call centre jobs until I moved to Nova Scotia.
  7. I moved to Nova Scotia in 2013 to be with my boyfriend.
  8. I have the best job in the world ( I am a Program Coordinator for a child and youth organisation in the North End of Halifax).
  9. I have 4 tattoos.
  10. My dad is from Chile, he moved to Canada when he was 15.
  11. My moms family is Russian and French-Canadian.
  12. I would say I definitely identify more with my Latina side.I love the Latin culture SO much!
  13. I love makeup. I love how it makes me feel, how it transforms my face, I love it all.
  14. I can’t wait to be a mom. If you know me well, you know that this is something I have always wanted. Being almost 30, the baby fever is SO real. I literally cannot wait. Lol
  15. I am PETRIFIED of spiders. I have no words. Big or small, I can’t do it.
  16. I love music. I listen to music all throughout my day. It puts me in a good mood, and keeps me going.
  17. I have a small obsession with Chris Brown.
  18. I know the words to every song. I don’t know what it is, but lyrics stick with me.
  19. I love to sing. I love to hear people singing. I love to be sung to. It’s my favourite thing ever.
  20. I have a small circle of friends, but they mean the world to me. They get me. Near or far, I know they have my back always.
  21. I have never danced professionally, but in the last few years I have found an interest in choreography (I make dances with/for the kids I work with). It’s pretty random, but I love it.
  22. My name is Sarah. Lol. I am surprised how many people think my name is Sarita, but it’s just a nickname my dad and tio’s have always called me. Also, Marcelina is not my last name, it’s my middle name.
  23. I love salad. It’s one of my favourite foods. Any variety of salad! 
  24. I love stationary (pens, markers, planners, festive paper, etc)
  25. Bubble baths are my favourite!

Another Valentine’s Day makeup look 💕

I can never decided what kind of eye makeup to do, so I usually do two different looks; one on each eye. For these looks I wanted to do one really cute and flirty look, and one that was more sexy and smokey. I also gave 3 lip options that I thought paired nicely with both looks! 

Personally the cute and flirty one was by far my favourite. I thought all 3 lip colours looked nice with it, but if I had to choose I would probably pick the red or go for a nude. 

I normally filter my pictures because I’m extra like that. But I used just the natural light for these pics, but I did show you what they looked like with a filter as well. 

What look are you gonna rock for Valentine’s Day? 

​​

xo

anti-valentine’s day?

Erm… I have a bone to pick with this topic. First of all, what could you possibly hate about Valentine’s Day? Single or not, it’s alllll good! Like I said in my “Hello February” post, everything is pink and red, there is chocolate everywhere, it gives you a reason to bake yummy things.. no hate on V-day from me.

My issue with people who so fiercely advocate for anti-valentine’s day, is why does this one day make you so upset? Honestly, it’s the most overrated, over-priced bullshit you could possibly get wrapped up in. Not to mention, why should this one day be more special than the rest? Love, surprises, dinner, chocolates… that could be, and should be any day of the week, any month of the year; in my humble opinion.

It kind of makes me sad to think that some single people take this holiday to heart (pun? I dunno..) Being loved and appreciated is not defined by whether some random (or not so random) dude calls you his Valentine on February 14th.. Blah. *FLASHBACK* Remember in middle/high school when we used to give out Candy Grams to the people we had crushes on. It’s so barf worthy when I think about it now. WHY DID WE CARE SO MUCH?!

Anyhoo, please don’t be sad on Valentine’s Day. Remember that you are loved EVERY DAY, and you’re loveable-ness is not determined by whether or not*Kenneth* is trying to  slide into your DM’s on Tuesday (Valentine’s Day) or not. Go out with your girls, watch some Netflix, rock a red lip and some winged liner, bake a cake.. do whatever your little heart desires. In fact, do whatever the hell you would normally do on any other Tuesday.. let’s be real (cheap movie night, HOLLA). Hope this made you hate life a little bit less 😉

xo

 

 

I guess it’s time you knew..

I have avoided writing this post since I started my blog, even though I started this blog to talk about this very thing..and things of this nature.

My boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago…unofficially about 2 months ago. January 20th would have been our 5 year anniversary. If you know me “in real life”, you are probably pretty shocked by this news (if you didn’t already know). I’ve tried to hide it as best as I could, because I’ve just been scared of what people will say.  It is something very few people know about, and honestly, it’s something I don’t even want to talk about in person. I can hear the comments and questions already. So if you are reading this, please do not ask me about it in real life. I am just not ready.

I don’t want to get into the details about it, because it honestly doesn’t matter. We still talk, we are still friends, but we no longer live together or work together.We are both single, and doing our own thing, and honestly, it really is for the best.

I have said all that to say this. I have been struggling with whether to stay in Nova Scotia or move back to Winnipeg A LOT lately. Truthfully, I feel like moving home is the easy option, a cop-out. I will have my family there, but will I be happier? I really don’t know. I moved here (Nova Scotia) almost 3.5 years ago to be with him, so obviously not being together has been an adjustment. Although I have been here for 3.5 years, my life kind of revolved around him (not in a bad way), but I had no friends or family here, so inevitably his friends became my friends, and his family became my family.

Now, I have made some great friends on my own since I have moved here (haaaaay boooos, you know who you are), but it’s been hard. I really haven’t put myself out there too much, because I guess I was just complacent with how things were. I had a routine, and I stuck to it. But I feel like I have to start all over now. I need to make a new routine, I need to build my own life here (this might put my previous posts into perspective).

My job is everything to me. The kids I work with have totally captured my heart, and the thought of leaving them is honestly heart wrenching. I have inquired about similar jobs in Winnipeg, but I just know it won’t be the same. I have worked so hard to build the relationships I have with the kids and their families over the last few years, and I am just not ready to say goodbye.

My current plan of action is to just continue doing things that make me happy. I have been trying to distract myself as much as possible with dinner dates with friends, meticulously cleaning and organising my apartment, trying new recipes, blogging, and just trying to focus on all the great things I have going on. Breakups happen all the time, it happens, it’s life. I can’t and won’t let myself sit around and feel sorry for myself, because a.) I did that the first 2 weeks, b.) it makes me feel worse, c.) it’s not gonna get me anywhere…

So please don’t read this and feel sorry for me. Despite how sad this post sounded, I am actually doing okay. I am a grown up, I will figure my shit out eventually, and life will go on.

Thank you to the people who constantly show me love on a daily basis, your kind words and support never go unnoticed (even if you didn’t know all of this was going on). The hugs are extra comforting, and the love is even more overwhelming. I love you guys.

xo

Valentine’s Day makeup 

Happy Sunday! 

I had a bit of time this afternoon to do a quick little eye makeup look, and I wanted to share it with you guys! 

It’s totally Valentine’s Day appropriate, but it’s not too over the top that you couldn’t wear it any other day either. 

I used Makeup Geek and MAC eyeshadows, and the lashes are by Black Cherry. 

If you want full details leave me a comment below! 

xo